I look back at my older posts and I realise how much I've learnt along the way. I'll get back to this further down though.
For now, I want to catch up on my R U OK day post.
R U OK day was in September, so this is a little overdue.
I've thought about this post most of the days since... It is really uplifting to see through the years the changes in peoples attitudes towards mental health. More and more people are helping to remove the stigma that surrounds the pain that is associated with the multitude of invisible disorders/illnesses.
What I find really, really frustrating about R U OK day is that no one actually asks anyone if they're okay, not really. What is with that?
Everyone posts Facebook status's, and work on raising awareness (which is great) yet are people actually approaching their friends and family that may be portraying some degree of a certain disorder/illness and asking them how they are actually doing?
Let me paint a picture for you... 38kg 17 year old, physically light but mentally heavy. R U OK day passed, people talked about it at school, people posted Facebook updates, people shared instagram posts, videos, tweets and tumblr posts.
But that small, fragile, skinny girl with what felt like a thousand bricks pressing down on her was not confronted once, was not asked whether she was okay. In fact most of the people in her life were obviously uncomfortable by her not being okay and didn't know how to handle it or approach it, they avoided all confrontation and didn't want to know more.
The pity was in their eyes, but not a word touched their lips.
This is the problem with R U OK day, the thought is there - the idea of R U OK day is spot on, it raises awareness and tries to break down stigma surrounding mental illness. But it does not teach people how to actually approach individuals.
A Facebook status is not very personal if you ask me.
So I challenge everyone who posted on R U OK day, who retweeted, shared an instagram post or reblogged a tumblr post to actually ask someone close to you if they're okay, and not just because it might be R U OK day but because you genuinely care about them and their wellbeing.
Someone isn't just going to come to you because you post 'R U OK' on Facebook. That isn't building rapport, that isn't developing trust or a relationship. Reach out to people, because it's unlikely that someone who is not okay will reach out to you. I find most people find it more difficult to say 'I'm not okay' than ask 'are you okay?'
Most of my posts revolve around eating disorders. I consider myself 'recovered', if i struggle to eat one square of chocolate, then screw it i'll eat the whole row - pushing back is a great way to push through. But our minds are on this continuum... life is unpredictable but it's beautiful and food and health are wonderful gifts, so is happiness. But not everyone has happiness.
What I often don't talk about, is depression and anxiety.
These usually accompany anorexia and are half the battle, actually probably more than half.
Depression is not typical sadness, if you feel crushing weight weighing you down, if you can't seem to be able to scrapple your way out of a deep pit of despair, if you feel worthless, lonely and/or useless. If getting out of bed feels like climbing Mt Everest. If you're tired, irritable, anxious, feel lethargic or find difficulty finding the positive in any situation you're not just a downer, you most likely have depression. This is serious, and i feel whole-heartedly for you. It does not make you weird, horrible to be around or abnormal, it is unfortunate that you are suffering and i wish that you weren't but if you are, know that it is okay and it would be awesome and wise for you to seek help.
I was a happy, energetic and bubbly kid. I am a happy, energetic and bubbly adult.
What is so confusing to most people is that I AM this energetic, optimistic and loving person. But I have struggled in the past, I have had my ups and downs and I refuse to be ashamed of that. I refuse to be ashamed of being human. I refuse to be ashamed of having emotions.
Having fun is vital in my life, I love to laugh, I love to have fun. If you can make me laugh, I will treasure you more than you most likely know.
Sing badly, dance without restraint, tell awful dad jokes, be ridiculous, make terrible puns, take risks.
Make happiness and mental health a priority.
Happy mental health month. Take care of yourself.
- Sequoia
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